Theater Teachers are Hard to Read

The professor who taught the Power of Masks humanities class that I took this past summer session was very difficult to read. I couldn't tell if he appreciated the work I did in the class or if he was somehow dissatisfied with me. I'm sure by now all who read this on-line journal of mine are aware of how much I like to interact with the instructor of any class I may take, so it may not come as some suprise that it was somewhat alarming to me when I couldn't tell positive feedback from negative feedback. Of course, I'm doing well in the class -- I think at this point I'm only four points shy of the total points possible, so I imagine that means I'm doing fine, and Blythe kind of reassured me when she asked me to remember who my competition is.

Today I gave a speech that was based on the final paper I wrote, which was an argument that the mask in Hwang's M. Butterfly is a composite of several images in the text, and that the mask is only powerful when Gallimard believes in it. For the speech I brought out the fact that we had only read the text in class, and not seen a performance of the play. Hence, from the text you could imagine the mask of "Butterfly" as combining components of Peking Opera costumes, the original impact of Puccini's Madame Butterfly (that of a Western woman in "yellow face"), the traditional dress of Chinese women, and the antithesis of the "Butterfly" mask, that of the image of Anna Mae Wong, an Asian in Western dress. I tried to underscore the idea that Song is not the "Butterfly" mask, that when he appears nude at the end of the play Song has totally lost his power as the mask lays to the side. "Butterfly" realizes its fullest potential as a mask when Gallimard puts it on, because he is the creator of the mask, and it is only the mask he is in love with. The narcissistic nature of the mask is in full force as Gallimard commits suicide as the mask's final "act."

Sometimes I get nervous when I speak, so I hope the progression of my ideas didn't get too jumbled in what probably was a too-fast delivery. I still don't know what the class thought. When the instructor asked the class to give feedback, only a couple of people offered comments -- one said that they liked the way I showed that the mask was narcissitic, and another said that it was a good analysis. Nothing was said of my speaking capabilities, so I figure I must have been too tied to my notes or lacked gestures, or something.

For the next summer session I will be taking a syntax class -- so here's to hoping my grammar will improve. I'm also taking a step-aerobics class four days a week -- maybe my physique will improve as well. After the aerobics class I will be free to apply the scholarship to my current Fall semester (and Spring, I think). Also, there's graduate school to apply for. I'm getting a little burned out -- but I can't look back. Starting in Fall, it's five English classes again -- three of which are British Lit. I made the Dean's List last semester -- let's see if I can do it again. Somehow I doubt it.